calltoaction | ( closed to thegoodbad. )

[Matt reaches out for his hand and Frank can't deny him, not when he's clearly struggling with the simplest things. It's hard seeing Matt like this when he is usually so confident and capable, and the thought of him not going back to how he was is strange. Frank can only imagine how often those destructive thoughts have run through Matt's mind these past months.]

Nothin'. Really. Just still in shock, like I said...

[His voice trails off with a tired sigh.]

...Just wish I'd stopped you from going in that place. I could've stopped this from happening to you.

[ He curls his hand around Frank's when he feels it take his own. He's had plenty of days of destructive thoughts, and times he's considered going out and---well. Despite his personal issue with God currently, it's still considered a mortal sin, isn't it? He won't admit that to Frank. He can barely admit it to himself. ]

I'm not sure anything could have stopped what happened. It needed to happen.

[ At least Matt knows now where he and God stand with each other. ]

You can't blame yourself.

Did it? [Needed to happen? Maybe it's better if Frank doesn't know why but as far as he's concerned, good people like Matt nearly dying does nobody any good. Maybe it's because this got personal. Maybe it's because he's too close. Whatever the case he doesn't like the idea of losing the man beside him and it's terrifying to consider that it almost happened.

Frank's still frowning as he keeps his eyes on the road, their hands the only steady thing keeping him grounded. If Matt's hearing wasn't so fucked up he'd be able to note the way his heart is racing at the mere thought of losing him.]

I just can't let anything happen to you. Not again.

I think it did. [ There's a low, depressed note to his tone. It needed to happen to show him where he stood with God and the faith he's clung to so vehemently. To show him that he suffered for naught, and that going forward, should he find himself well enough to continue, he should answer only to himself. It needed to happen to show that his memory of Elektra clouded the woman she became after her resurrection.

It doesn't make it hurt less, but he had known the first time she tried to kill Stick that if she crossed that particular line there would be no going back. ]

I think having a building collapse on top of me proves that I'm a little hardier than I look. Or God hates me.

To be honest I'm not sure which it is at this point.

[This is a low point in Matt's life - a struggle. It doesn't mean this is it. It doesn't mean he can't move on up from here. Frank vehemently believes that he can improve from the state he's currently in but all they can do is take things one step at a time, and Frank cares enough about Matt to want to help. If it means taking care of him for a little while then so be it.

Whether intentional or not, Frank chuckles at the mention of God, squeezing Matt's hand gently.]

I don't think He hates you. You're just struggling right now. [He tries to soothe with the stroke of his thumb along Matt's hand, repetitive and soft.] If that shit didn't break you then I don't know what will, Red.

[ Matt doesn't plan on giving up, at least, he's pretty sure he doesn't. Having been in the presence of condemnation, however silent from Sister Maggie, and feeling like a helpless child all over again as Father Lantom attempted to guide him to deal with his upset and rage---he's not sure what he's feeling.

Despair had been very close, but having Frank here eased that at least a little. ] Maybe not. Maybe we finally just see each other for who we really are.

[ The softness of Frank's hand in his belies the turmoil under the surface of Matt's skin, eking out of his heart and into the rest of him. He doesn't have the words to say to Frank, and feels guilt wash over him because of it, cloying and choking.

Did it though? Not break him? Matt isn't sure. ] Yeah.

[Frank can't begin to know what's going through Matt's head right now. The closest Frank can come is how he felt after a particularly devastating loss overseas, a failed mission, or one that went... too well. There are images that still haunt him, along with the way he felt even back then, the way he craved more. It's terrifying. The kind of internal crisis Matt's battling is entirely his own.]

Maybe. Or maybe this was the universe's way of reminding you that you're still only human. You're just one man.

[But what does Frank know, really?

Even with the pockets of silence Frank doesn't let go of that hand, almost afraid to, as if Matt will slip away again. After a few prolonged moments he sighs out:] It's okay if you wanna rest. We've got a long drive still.

[ Nothing good, is the long and short of it. He knows Frank can relate in his own way, but it doesn't help him, not right now.

Matt offers a weak chuckle at the comment from the other man. ]

Could be. Who knows?

[ Matt, despite not wanting to let go of Frank's hand, is feeling exhausted. Again. Not that it takes much these days. He offers a squeeze to the other man's hand, and shifts to take the pressure off his injured hip and back a little, half-curled on his side as much as he can in the passenger's seat. He tucks his arms around his middle. ]

Is it out of the city?

[Getting him away from his past seems like a better idea right now. Matt's low energy and in pain. The good painkillers are waiting at Frank's place, sadly.]

Yeah. Somewhere quiet, away from the noise. [Hands are still loosely laced together no matter how Matt shifts, not letting him lose that contact as long as he needs it.] When's the last time you even left Hell's Kitchen?

[ It's hard to drag himself out of the past when he barely has the energy to consider much further ahead than the next breath. The next jostle of the car over the bumps in the road. ]

Can't hear much anyways. [ He tries to adjust his head so he can still hear Frank well enough through his left ear, but it's difficult. He's grateful for the contact. It's maybe the only thing grounding him when he feels set adrift in the worst way. ] Never.

I've never left it.

[Never left it. Frank can't imagine. Matt is comfortable in his home turf for a reason and the realization that he isn't used to dealing with new environments as much is sobering and makes him seem more vulnerable, especially in his current state. Frank won't let anything happen to him as long as he's in his sights.

A thumb brushes methodically over Matt's hand, repeating gently, keeping that contact. He tries to speak louder than usual for Matt to hear him, his voice too loud in the small space.]

I promise the rest of the world ain't so bad. [He chuckles, more to himself.] Most of the time.

[ Twice in his life, he's spoken about it with someone. Someone who isn't there anymore, and it aches just as fresh as a knife in his heart. His chest aches, nothing to do with his injuries, throat raw, and he thinks he could cry if he had anything left in him for it.

He focuses, instead, on Frank's hand holding onto his own. It doesn't ease the pain in his chest, or the way his eyes start to burn, but don't water. His eyebrows raise, throat clearing softly as he starts to speak again. ]

So I've been told. [ He can hear her voice in his head, and he tries to block it out. There are sexy places to hide. He tries for the barest of smiles, but it barely turns up the corner of his mouth. ] Have to take your word for it.

[He thinks Matt would do well in a place away from New York or the east coast in general, maybe further inland, somewhere quiet and serene. Then again, the way Matt experiences the world is so different than himself, so how can he say? All he knows is that in this moment he's the one looking out for the guy.

There are quiet spells during their drive where he doesn't know what to say, or words aren't needed. Frank interjects when explaining where they're headed or how close they are, and by the time they get to his shitty little new apartment building, his hand still hasn't left Matt's.]

We're here. [The car is parked in its designated spot. Neighbors don't pay him much mind around here. He's quiet and keeps to himself.] Dunno if you're hungry or need to rest but you can stay here as long as you need.

[ Elektra never spoke about place like that. She talked about parties, and resorts. Tourist traps, and ridiculous schemes that he'd only ever heard from her. The idea of a quiet and serene space is so foreign to him, he probably wouldn't know it if it punched him in the face.

Maybe this is the universe telling him he could use less of that: the punching.

He starts to drift a little on the drive, despite the jostling that sometimes earned a pained breath sucked between his teeth. His hand stays in Frank's, grip loosening a bit as he goes in and out, and tightening a little once he parks and announces that they've arrived. ]

Mmm, already? [ He's not sure how much time has passed. It's colder out here. That's about all he can pick up with his senses. ] I think I should maybe sleep some more.

[ He tells him as he starts to try and sit up. His face is pinched with pain, and his arms are trembling from the minute shifting. ] Think---think I can take you up on that offer from before? The carrying?

[Seeing Matt like this is strange and difficult but Frank won't let him fend for himself. No way. One squeeze of Matt's hand before he finally lets go, unbuckling them both.]

Yeah, yeah... one sec. I'll be right there.

[He gets out from his end and comes around to open Matt's door, arms careful where they reach for him. Frank doesn't know how to hold him without hurting but he hopes he can just get Matt inside quick enough to ease his pain as soon as possible.]

C'mere. Put your arms around me if you can, alright? [Because then Frank is picking Matt up and into his arms, kicking the door shut, and makes his way to the side door of the building. Despite fumbling with keys and the minor inconvenience of having his hands full, he gets Matt up to his apartment as quick as possible. Max is already barking at the door but Frank is quick to shush him, the excited dog following as he takes Matt to his bedroom and lays him down on the bed.]

There you go. Shit, you alright?

[ It feels like ages between the squeeze of his hand, and Frank opening his door. He shifts as much as he can once he's unbuckled, but waits before Frank's ready to reach out. ]

Okay, I'm trying.

[ He manages to get his arms around Frank's shoulders, and groans softly in pain when he's lifted up. He keeps his breathing as even as he's able, though, despite Frank having to fumble with both carrying him and the keys. He can hear Max as they get closer, and then Frank shushing him. ]

Yeah, yeah, I'm---it just----hurts.

[He knows it must be frustrating for Matt to have to keep lying down and rest but that's the best thing for him right now, it seems. Once settled down on his mattress, Max comes cautiously over to sniff around and Frank offers him a pet between the ears, before sitting on the edge of the bed at Matt's side.]

I'll get you something for the pain. Something strong.

[A hand gently pats Matt's leg and then he's off to his kitchen to grab one of his personal med kits, grabbing one of his stronger pain killers and a bottle of water. Once back, he helps Matt sit upright enough to down them.]

You sure you don't need to be seeing a doctor, Red?

[ Matt knows that it's the best for him. He does. He also does hate it very much. It was the same when he was first blinded. When his abilities first developed, it was all he could do just to stand being awake for long stretches of time. ]

Thanks.

[ He can feel, not hear, Max now. Sense the huffs of breath from his snout as he sniffs around the bed, and reaches out a hand, brushing against a cold nose. ] Hey, Max.

[ He smiles a little at the lick to his palm. Sitting up is just another in a long series of ordeals, and he tries to suffer through it as quietly as possible. It doesn't change the fact that even small stuff leaves him winded. ]

Probably, but I hate hospitals. Besides, what am I supposed to say? Hey doc, I think a building might have fallen on me, but I'm not sure? Or I walked into a ditch?

[He definitely isn't used to seeing Matt so low but Frank isn't about to leave his side now. Max seems to be soothed by the knowledge that the familiar human is back where he can keep track of him, resting his head on the bed near Matt's hand like a good boy.]

I'm sure they've heard crazier stories. [Frank chuckles quietly, thinking over their options.] You can stay here as long as you need but my bedside manner isn't the best.

[Hands wring together between his knees, almost nervous.]

I have a friend who can come take a look at you at least. His name's Curtis. I trust him with my life.

( closed to thegoodbad. )

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