[ In Mike's defense, he didn't expect it to turn into this. It started in all the ways that Matt can already guess. It evolved from there. He's not sure where it changed. The graveyard? It was after the rooftop at least. He thinks it must have been after the Irish Mob tried to kill him.
He didn't intend to. Seems to be a running theme in his life lately. ]
So you punch me that's real mature. [ His breath stutters a little. They don't like to talk about that eventuality. He knows how close he came to dying. Maybe all that had something to do with it as well. ] Don't put that on me! Either one of us could die any night we go out there. What's it got to take for us to decide to go out there and just live?
[ It's Mike's turn to push, literally. ] You tell me that.
[They call it growing pains for a reason. It hurts. And maybe Matt could have been more attentive to Mike's needs. No, he couldn't fulfill him as a lover obviously. Not having a chance to talk this over and talk this out, it is as if a wall had been building.
But who put down the first brick?]
Because that is about the only way I can get your attention.
[Other wise he would have kept walking. Matt is sure of it.]
I am living. I have been. With you. Us.
[A singular. His breathing is heavy and he keeps swallowing. Don't you even dare, Matthew Murdock. Don't you even dare crumble because he is touching all the pressure points.]
[The chief indicator of this wall is that Matt hasn't felt this sense of loneliness for a long, long time.]
I don't know. Were you ever going to talk to me? Were you just going to let it go as long as possible unchecked if I just stood to the side and let you just--[go rogue? Go it alone? Date the man that tried to destroy 'Matt Murdock' and Daredevil in one fell swoop?]
If I--? You're saying you don't!
[And as quick as he has been to be all anger and fists he steps back like touch burns.]
[ Mike never wanted that. He didn't want his brother to feel alone. Mike himself has been feeling adrift for some time, but it's not his first time. He didn't want a fight. ]
How? How was I supposed to talk to you? This is how you're reacting now and I was supposed to do what? Bring it up over coffee and casework?
[ His jaw clenches, and he bites back a retort. ] Right now, I don't. Not when you can't keep your temper in check. Not when I'm already late.
[ He tastes blood and realizes that the hit must have broken his nose. It's a small fracture, at least, he can still breathe out of one side, and his eyes aren't watering in protest. His jaw quivers a little, emotion getting the better of him. ]
[When he is on his own he is not so good at rationalizing. Half agreements with Elektra meant more time with her, yes. And this rift is creating room for her. Not that Matt had thought this over at all. No.]
It would have been better sooner.
[Alas. They're not like that. And he clenches his jaw and steps back further with a pathetic half gesture to the door. Taking a few breathes lets him at least have mastery of his voice. His eyes are welling up and he won't dignify the emotion to be in his words.]
Go on then. Leave.
[Because he's not going to stop him. Not tonight. Matt leaves enough room so that they don't brush past one another as he walks to the end of the entry way hall.]
[ Claire pinpointed it early on that Mike was the heart of the operation. More gentle and level-headed comparatively. Less quick to anger. ]
Like you telling me about Elektra? She still wears the same perfume.
[ He bites it out as a parting shot. He's feeling bitter and put upon. He's not normally like this. Normal seems to be a novel concept for them, especially lately.
There's a finality when Matt finally gets out of the way, and it makes Mike's stomach sink a little. He has to focus to keep his heartbeat from giving it away and just reaches up to adjust the straps to his backpack before going on his way.
Once he gets further down the block, out of sight of other people, he ducks into an alley to take a second to collect himself. After, he calls Frank to let him know he's on his way. ]
[The fierce desire to be strong and win the day for the both of them has been Matt's folly many a time. That was before it involved street crime even. They are settling into their 30s and it shouldn't be so cut and dry. He needs his own heart and gentleness to be able to come through.
Though what if that is all he is?
The words, her name on his lips with such accusation make him finch. Matt surprises even himself as he says nothing. Don't pay him any mind. He wants that, the same that Matt had himself a few moments ago. He leaves to the bedroom and puts his head under the pillow and pretends he can't hear anything at all. Mike passes through the radius of awareness and he lets himself be so very aware that there is no one else in the apartment but himself.]
[ Once Mike never would have thought that he would have outgrown the beaming of pride knowing his brother would fight the world for him. Now he just wants him to not fight him over one person, and it's old already.
He didn't think it would hurt this much, being so different.
He at least had the decency to wait until he was out of range of his brother before he dials out. Once it picks up, he can hear Frank's heartbeat, and it brings a little peak of joy in the midst of the chaos he's feeling. ]
Hey, sorry, I'm still on my way. I got held up that's all.
[ He can play that off now, but he won't be able to when he meets up with him and he sees the swelling of his face. He hopes he got all the blood at least when he wiped it in a hurry down the stairs. ]
Where are we meeting?
[ He can't be out as Matt Murdock tonight, so he has to go without the cane. It's surprisingly easy for him to pretend to be sighted. At least enough that no one else seems to notice. It's just taxing on his senses if he does it too much. ]
[Frank gives Mike the address. His van is waiting already. Held up really can mean so many, many different things. He waits until Mike is seated in the van. He can tell that there's a smear of dried something at the corner of his mouth.]
You wanna talk about it?
[Really doesn't take a genius to figure out that there was a confrontation. Figuring out that there is not one, but two of these lunatics running around the city with no vision between them working the streets like they're bullet proof was a shock. And developing a relationship with one half of that, well, that speaks more to Frank's character than anything.
[ It's a mostly quiet night around their building, and down the route he takes to get to the address he's given. He's grateful for it. It helps clear his head a little more, and try to get some emotional distance from the confrontation in their apartment. He knew he wouldn't get all of the blood, that's the difficult part especially when leading dual lives, but he's not sure if that or the swelling gave it away. ]
Not much to say outside of my brother being a dick.
[ It'd be less jarring to explain that he took out some mugger or anything else. Instead it's family drama. He doesn't want to drag Frank into it, but he's there by proxy just because he's with Mike. He doesn't want to think about the next time Matt is out in the night and runs across Frank. God.
He licks his lips and reaches over to take Frank's hand, a half-smile coming to his face. This---this is good. ]
[Checking in before they head anywhere is important. Sure they got some place to be. He doesn't need a degree in psychology to know that there's a process going on in Mike's head.
Fingers lace together, both of them have a rough touch. It's still nice. Frank gives a brief squeeze.]
Doesn't mean he had to come to blows. That's a hell of a chip on his shoulder.
[Naturally he has some very strong bias to Michael over Matthew especially with this growing affection. Frank is smart enough to figure out that doesn't mean he can or should talk shit about him because he disagrees.]
[ The checking in is good. He's glad for it, and it just helps cement that yes this was the right move. He just needs a little time to get his mind right, free of any other influence, before he goes back home.
Frank's are rough from callouses from some fighting, true. Mostly guns and knives and their use. He squeezes back, content with the contact. ]
You're not wrong. He's a hothead.
[ The bias is kind of cute, and clearly it isn't one-sided. Mike's affection has been growing exponentially. The more time they spend together, the more time they talk, the more it grows. It was Frank's idea to finally get them both off of rooftops and into a real place to grab a bite. ]
Yeah, I'm---Do you think we could just drive around a little bit until dinner?
A hothead who really should get his priorities straight.
[A mild judgment there. Pitting brother against brother is dodgy. God knows he would never what to go up against any of his brothers from the Corps. There are always emotions this issue is deeper and older than Frank's presence. Hanging back is the best bet so far.]
Yeah, I can do that. No problem.
[Another squeeze before he turns the engine on again.]
[ A gentle scoff, but that's as far as he lets it go. If he makes a comment then it devolves into some gossip session. He knows Frank doesn't mean it to start a rift, but he doesn't want to risk anything turning sour.
Another squeeze to his hand. ]
Thank you.
[ He chuckles at the mention of the heat. ]
You'd burn up in here. You hate having the heat on for too long.
Hey. You know... [He has to look away from Mikey to drive though he wants to catch these little expressions. Maybe more at dinner. They're gonna still hold hands like this in the center console. Frank can drive one handed.]
I don't want you being upset.
[Not like he can truly have any power over that. Just stay on his side, do the best he can do. The sky is cloudy and there's a vague rumble of thunder. It might rain.]
Small price to pay, at least if I get sick it won't be the end of the world for me. I bet at the first sign of sniffles you're a wreck.
[ Mike can't really catch the expressions, but he can the intonations in Frank's voice. The way it sounds when he is amused or is smiling. The sound of his heartbeat gives away his sincerity, and it almost makes him forget about the way his nose is starting to ache. His thumb brushes over Franks knuckles. ]
I'm quickly getting away from that.
[ With such good company, how can he not? His head tilts at the thunder, and he can feel the charge in the air from the scattered lightning, even in the van. He likes it when it rains, the world feels different then, like there's a roof over it, or they're in an echo chamber. He can sense more. ]
Oh God, you have no idea. I hope that you never have to witness that. I'm---I've only got a few witnesses to pull from experience, but I'm no picnic. Everything---everything just feels so much worse. Blech.
[ He's still smiling, though, wide enough that it makes his cheeks hurt a little, eyes crinkling at the corners. ]
[Might be just how he's touching, the careful, hyper awareness and focus on skin to skin contact.]
Everyone says men turn into babies when sick. You just go right on back into a fetus. I can tell.
[Except the way he's saying it...it's like it's a compliment. Frank can't even figure it either. They roll on through the streets and the first little plunk of raindrops hit the windshield of the van.]
I just succumb to my fate. Throw zinc and any over the counter shit I can at it. Gotta keep it moving.
[ Maybe it is. Maybe it's a little of everything. Mike never saw this coming, but he's quickly found he can't imagine time without these small moments. ]
Oh, yeah? Guess I'll never be hanging around you when I'm sick. [ A joke, clearly. ] We're going to have to make a run for it when we stop.
[ Just before those first drops, and then the rain starts in earnest. His attention shifts a little, caught up in the way people start to rush and hurry around them on the street with the beginning of the rain. ]
I guess it's a little different for me, feeling so much. It can get a little intense.
And if it's not enough then you better tell me. I'm going all in.
[On efforts. Though all in is meaning so many things in this moment. They're meeting up in the late hours for dinner. Together. The goddamn Punisher and the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. Nobody would believe it. Truth is stranger than fiction.]
What? I'm good with babies. You just haven't seen me.
[That one he pushes through even though it hurts a little. All for the sake of making this doofus next to him smile.]
[ It's a little baffling how quickly they've fallen together, considering. Mike never really let himself get drawn in by anyone. He never really made the time for it. Guess it made time for him, though. ]
Oh, that's terrible. Okay, just for that, I will make my way across town sick to bother you, and test that theory.
[ He won't actually. He can hear the little change in his heartbeat and tell there's something else in there, but he doesn't push. It sounds a little like hurt, and he doesn't want to pry or push. ]
Silk sheets make up for it though. A little, anyways.
[That's the end of that. So long as He knows. Mike. Red. Whoever he feels like being tonight. So long as he's himself and in a better place than he had been when he lugged himself on into the van.]
Good. I welcome it. Though I dunno if you'll appreciate it based on what you just told me.
[He's taking. There's always going to be some kind of hurt. Though letting the man know, getting glimpses of what was before, he has a right. They're still a part of Frank. Good or bad, right or wrong. He had children he loved so very, very much. And he was good with them. Nobody is gonna take that way.]
Here I was thinking you were just some fancy son of a bitch.
[Don't look now, Mike but the place they're going to while very mom and pop is gonna have candles and the like. You know, ambiance. Taste. The whole picture.]
You'll regret saying that. You will. You wouldn't like me all sniffly and congested.
[ It's bad for him. For both of them when they get that sick. The pain of congestion not just from being stuffed up but also from the gunk in their chests? Ugh.
Mike knows there will always be that hurt. He has some idea from past experience and his own loss. He can't imagine the loss of one child, let alone two, and a wife? It's why he listens when those moments do come up. They're dear and precious and deserve to be heard, remembered. ]
God, no. Cotton is like sandpaper. I make special exception when I'm stealing your hoodies.
[ With the rain having started, it's a little more difficult to get an idea of where they are going. He guesses it's for the same reason that dogs have trouble with scent when someone goes through water. A lot of it gets muddy and muted. ]
Aw come on, you know me. I'm a glutton for a bad time. Almost as much as you.
[Mikey specifically. He considers that while he has seen a portion of suffering that is from his brother or by his brother, well, he doesn't matter right now. The present is so much easier to focus on. That's all that they can count on. So he tries to not let his thoughts wander from the path of now.]
Are you gonna tell me that fabric softener does jack shit now?
[Frank knows the way and he circles the block a few times, a drive with this man in the rain. They got time and he has gas.]
I'll remember you said it here. No takebacks later.
[ It's mostly because he doesn't want to fight or rock the boat. He'd rather talk. Discuss. Be civil. A lot of good it does him sometimes. He tries not to let his own thoughts wander when they're having such a good time with just talking now. ]
Against cotton? No, not really. Sorry to burst your bubble. And I'm not just being contrary.
[ The rain is getting harder, and Mike licks at his lips. A part of him wants to ask if he doesn't mind just going a little slow instead of making a run for it when they finally stop. It would---it'd make seeing him be just a little bit different. A little easier, but he's not very practiced at asking for things for just himself. It's not his way.
Maybe he'll work up the nerve after dinner if the rain keeps up. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
calltoaction) wrote2019-09-13 04:07 pm
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He didn't intend to. Seems to be a running theme in his life lately. ]
So you punch me that's real mature. [ His breath stutters a little. They don't like to talk about that eventuality. He knows how close he came to dying. Maybe all that had something to do with it as well. ] Don't put that on me! Either one of us could die any night we go out there. What's it got to take for us to decide to go out there and just live?
[ It's Mike's turn to push, literally. ] You tell me that.
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But who put down the first brick?]
Because that is about the only way I can get your attention.
[Other wise he would have kept walking. Matt is sure of it.]
I am living. I have been. With you. Us.
[A singular. His breathing is heavy and he keeps swallowing. Don't you even dare, Matthew Murdock. Don't you even dare crumble because he is touching all the pressure points.]
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You didn't have to do that and you know it.
[ He comes back up, but not with fists ready for a fight. ]
No. No you haven't been. It hasn't been the same for a while and you know it. Don't try to spin this like it has.
[ He heaves in a breath, and scoffs. ] If you want to talk about this? We can talk, but not right now.
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I don't know. Were you ever going to talk to me? Were you just going to let it go as long as possible unchecked if I just stood to the side and let you just--[go rogue? Go it alone? Date the man that tried to destroy 'Matt Murdock' and Daredevil in one fell swoop?]
If I--? You're saying you don't!
[And as quick as he has been to be all anger and fists he steps back like touch burns.]
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How? How was I supposed to talk to you? This is how you're reacting now and I was supposed to do what? Bring it up over coffee and casework?
[ His jaw clenches, and he bites back a retort. ] Right now, I don't. Not when you can't keep your temper in check. Not when I'm already late.
[ He tastes blood and realizes that the hit must have broken his nose. It's a small fracture, at least, he can still breathe out of one side, and his eyes aren't watering in protest. His jaw quivers a little, emotion getting the better of him. ]
Move.
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It would have been better sooner.
[Alas. They're not like that. And he clenches his jaw and steps back further with a pathetic half gesture to the door. Taking a few breathes lets him at least have mastery of his voice. His eyes are welling up and he won't dignify the emotion to be in his words.]
Go on then. Leave.
[Because he's not going to stop him. Not tonight. Matt leaves enough room so that they don't brush past one another as he walks to the end of the entry way hall.]
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Like you telling me about Elektra? She still wears the same perfume.
[ He bites it out as a parting shot. He's feeling bitter and put upon. He's not normally like this. Normal seems to be a novel concept for them, especially lately.
There's a finality when Matt finally gets out of the way, and it makes Mike's stomach sink a little. He has to focus to keep his heartbeat from giving it away and just reaches up to adjust the straps to his backpack before going on his way.
Once he gets further down the block, out of sight of other people, he ducks into an alley to take a second to collect himself. After, he calls Frank to let him know he's on his way. ]
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Though what if that is all he is?
The words, her name on his lips with such accusation make him finch. Matt surprises even himself as he says nothing. Don't pay him any mind. He wants that, the same that Matt had himself a few moments ago. He leaves to the bedroom and puts his head under the pillow and pretends he can't hear anything at all. Mike passes through the radius of awareness and he lets himself be so very aware that there is no one else in the apartment but himself.]
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He didn't think it would hurt this much, being so different.
He at least had the decency to wait until he was out of range of his brother before he dials out. Once it picks up, he can hear Frank's heartbeat, and it brings a little peak of joy in the midst of the chaos he's feeling. ]
Hey, sorry, I'm still on my way. I got held up that's all.
[ He can play that off now, but he won't be able to when he meets up with him and he sees the swelling of his face. He hopes he got all the blood at least when he wiped it in a hurry down the stairs. ]
Where are we meeting?
[ He can't be out as Matt Murdock tonight, so he has to go without the cane. It's surprisingly easy for him to pretend to be sighted. At least enough that no one else seems to notice. It's just taxing on his senses if he does it too much. ]
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You wanna talk about it?
[Really doesn't take a genius to figure out that there was a confrontation. Figuring out that there is not one, but two of these lunatics running around the city with no vision between them working the streets like they're bullet proof was a shock. And developing a relationship with one half of that, well, that speaks more to Frank's character than anything.
He puts his hand on Mike's knee.]
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Not much to say outside of my brother being a dick.
[ It'd be less jarring to explain that he took out some mugger or anything else. Instead it's family drama. He doesn't want to drag Frank into it, but he's there by proxy just because he's with Mike. He doesn't want to think about the next time Matt is out in the night and runs across Frank. God.
He licks his lips and reaches over to take Frank's hand, a half-smile coming to his face. This---this is good. ]
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Fingers lace together, both of them have a rough touch. It's still nice. Frank gives a brief squeeze.]
Doesn't mean he had to come to blows. That's a hell of a chip on his shoulder.
[Naturally he has some very strong bias to Michael over Matthew especially with this growing affection. Frank is smart enough to figure out that doesn't mean he can or should talk shit about him because he disagrees.]
...are you gonna be cool?
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Frank's are rough from callouses from some fighting, true. Mostly guns and knives and their use. He squeezes back, content with the contact. ]
You're not wrong. He's a hothead.
[ The bias is kind of cute, and clearly it isn't one-sided. Mike's affection has been growing exponentially. The more time they spend together, the more time they talk, the more it grows. It was Frank's idea to finally get them both off of rooftops and into a real place to grab a bite. ]
Yeah, I'm---Do you think we could just drive around a little bit until dinner?
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[A mild judgment there. Pitting brother against brother is dodgy. God knows he would never what to go up against any of his brothers from the Corps. There are always emotions this issue is deeper and older than Frank's presence. Hanging back is the best bet so far.]
Yeah, I can do that. No problem.
[Another squeeze before he turns the engine on again.]
Say the word if you're cold.
[The van has heat and air conditioning.]
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Another squeeze to his hand. ]
Thank you.
[ He chuckles at the mention of the heat. ]
You'd burn up in here. You hate having the heat on for too long.
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I don't want you being upset.
[Not like he can truly have any power over that. Just stay on his side, do the best he can do. The sky is cloudy and there's a vague rumble of thunder. It might rain.]
Small price to pay, at least if I get sick it won't be the end of the world for me. I bet at the first sign of sniffles you're a wreck.
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I'm quickly getting away from that.
[ With such good company, how can he not? His head tilts at the thunder, and he can feel the charge in the air from the scattered lightning, even in the van. He likes it when it rains, the world feels different then, like there's a roof over it, or they're in an echo chamber. He can sense more. ]
Oh God, you have no idea. I hope that you never have to witness that. I'm---I've only got a few witnesses to pull from experience, but I'm no picnic. Everything---everything just feels so much worse. Blech.
[ He's still smiling, though, wide enough that it makes his cheeks hurt a little, eyes crinkling at the corners. ]
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[Might be just how he's touching, the careful, hyper awareness and focus on skin to skin contact.]
Everyone says men turn into babies when sick. You just go right on back into a fetus. I can tell.
[Except the way he's saying it...it's like it's a compliment. Frank can't even figure it either. They roll on through the streets and the first little plunk of raindrops hit the windshield of the van.]
I just succumb to my fate. Throw zinc and any over the counter shit I can at it. Gotta keep it moving.
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[ Maybe it is. Maybe it's a little of everything. Mike never saw this coming, but he's quickly found he can't imagine time without these small moments. ]
Oh, yeah? Guess I'll never be hanging around you when I'm sick. [ A joke, clearly. ] We're going to have to make a run for it when we stop.
[ Just before those first drops, and then the rain starts in earnest. His attention shifts a little, caught up in the way people start to rush and hurry around them on the street with the beginning of the rain. ]
I guess it's a little different for me, feeling so much. It can get a little intense.
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[On efforts. Though all in is meaning so many things in this moment. They're meeting up in the late hours for dinner. Together. The goddamn Punisher and the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. Nobody would believe it. Truth is stranger than fiction.]
What? I'm good with babies. You just haven't seen me.
[That one he pushes through even though it hurts a little. All for the sake of making this doofus next to him smile.]
Yeah, that crossed my mind.
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[ It's a little baffling how quickly they've fallen together, considering. Mike never really let himself get drawn in by anyone. He never really made the time for it. Guess it made time for him, though. ]
Oh, that's terrible. Okay, just for that, I will make my way across town sick to bother you, and test that theory.
[ He won't actually. He can hear the little change in his heartbeat and tell there's something else in there, but he doesn't push. It sounds a little like hurt, and he doesn't want to pry or push. ]
Silk sheets make up for it though. A little, anyways.
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Good. I welcome it. Though I dunno if you'll appreciate it based on what you just told me.
[He's taking. There's always going to be some kind of hurt. Though letting the man know, getting glimpses of what was before, he has a right. They're still a part of Frank. Good or bad, right or wrong. He had children he loved so very, very much. And he was good with them. Nobody is gonna take that way.]
Here I was thinking you were just some fancy son of a bitch.
[Don't look now, Mike but the place they're going to while very mom and pop is gonna have candles and the like. You know, ambiance. Taste. The whole picture.]
no subject
[ It's bad for him. For both of them when they get that sick. The pain of congestion not just from being stuffed up but also from the gunk in their chests? Ugh.
Mike knows there will always be that hurt. He has some idea from past experience and his own loss. He can't imagine the loss of one child, let alone two, and a wife? It's why he listens when those moments do come up. They're dear and precious and deserve to be heard, remembered. ]
God, no. Cotton is like sandpaper. I make special exception when I'm stealing your hoodies.
[ With the rain having started, it's a little more difficult to get an idea of where they are going. He guesses it's for the same reason that dogs have trouble with scent when someone goes through water. A lot of it gets muddy and muted. ]
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[Mikey specifically. He considers that while he has seen a portion of suffering that is from his brother or by his brother, well, he doesn't matter right now. The present is so much easier to focus on. That's all that they can count on. So he tries to not let his thoughts wander from the path of now.]
Are you gonna tell me that fabric softener does jack shit now?
[Frank knows the way and he circles the block a few times, a drive with this man in the rain. They got time and he has gas.]
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[ It's mostly because he doesn't want to fight or rock the boat. He'd rather talk. Discuss. Be civil. A lot of good it does him sometimes. He tries not to let his own thoughts wander when they're having such a good time with just talking now. ]
Against cotton? No, not really. Sorry to burst your bubble. And I'm not just being contrary.
[ The rain is getting harder, and Mike licks at his lips. A part of him wants to ask if he doesn't mind just going a little slow instead of making a run for it when they finally stop. It would---it'd make seeing him be just a little bit different. A little easier, but he's not very practiced at asking for things for just himself. It's not his way.
Maybe he'll work up the nerve after dinner if the rain keeps up. ]
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