calltoaction | ( closed to thegoodbad. )

[ Very few people have seen that particularly vulnerable side of him, Frank being the main one. Stick, a time or two, but he wasn't exactly the sort to show him the ropes, but put out obstacles why he tried to figure it out himself. Matt's head tilts a little at the quiet start to his voice, but then nods when he mentions getting up. ]

Such a gentleman.

[ It's said weakly, but a smile tugs at one corner of his mouth. More emotion than he's demonstrated since being under the care of the church. Bruised hands and fingers grip at the fabric of Frank's hoodie where his arm is looped around his shoulders, and he nods, slowly standing up with him.

He's shaking from the minimal effort, face pinched with pain, and breathing harsh through his nose. There's no hiding that even this elicits no small amount of agony, but it's worth it in the end.

And maybe he just wants to see how much he can take right now. How bad it really is. If the shaking and shooting pains are anything to go by? Pretty bad. ]

[Frank hauls him to his feet carefully, noting the pinched, uncomfortable expression. He can tell the Sister wants to comment but instead she decides to be helpful, hurrying the wheelchair over to the side of the bed.]

Thank you, ma'am. [Frank nods, even if his politeness isn't earning him any points right now. He leans in to Matt's good ear to talk clearer:] Chair's five steps forward. It's just until we get you to the car, okay? Unless you'd rather I carry you out...

[His voice carries a tease at the end there, a lightness Frank hasn't felt in weeks.]

[ Matt's still trembling, an all over body thing, just from the exertion of standing and the weakness that crowds in from it after. ]

Five? Yeah I think I can manage. [ He hates admitting that he's not certain that he can get that far, but he'll give it a shot. He manages a couple of steps, failing to swallow back the pained noise the movement brings, even with help.

But the comment about carrying him out earns a laugh on a hitched breath, and a groan after. ]

Could I take you up on that later?

[Shit, this is bad. Frank couldn't have believed it unless he saw it for himself like this. Matt's not well. Not at all. Not that he'd expect anything less when he was crushed under a building. At least he's alive and... not worse off.

Frank supports him along the way and by the time Matt's in the chair, he grins and responds:] However much you want once we're home.

[Home. He keeps using that word without realizing it.]

[ There's a tenseness in Frank that Matt can't put a name to. He can't hear his heartbeat, or the way his breathing sounds. He doesn't know how to gauge it.

Once he's in the chair he relaxes as much as he's able to in that position, smiling tiredly at the grin he can just make out in Frank's voice. ] Sounds good.

[ Sister Maggie takes his hand to place a walking cane in it, and Matt's face screws at the unsolicited contact. "That should help, when you decide to stop feeling sorry for yourself." His voice is colored by a scoff. ]

Oh, yes, of course. Thank you, sister.

[There has to be something here between these two but Frank won't ask. He doesn't dare. The tone of her words despite her actions is confusing. Does she care or not? Does she want him to stay or not? Frank recognizes the tough love shtick but it seems a bit much when he's this physically fucked up.

Frank pulls his hood back up, frowning between them, and takes a hold of the chair.]

I'm sure he's grateful for all your help. [Or... something. Frank isn't used to being a peacemaker here. He feels a little awkward but nods respectfully yet again, ducking his head some as he starts to wheel Matt out of the room and down the hall. They'll take the back exit where he's parked, his van out of sight from the main road.]

That was fucking awkward. [He comments once outside, stopping by the door to leave the chair there. He plans on carrying Matt to the car at least, not about to steal a wheelchair from an orphanage.] I get a feeling there's some bad blood there.

[But he really doesn't need to know the details. He comes around, one hand on Matt's shoulder all the while before he leans into his good ear.] Van's just down this ally, I'm gonna carry you if that's alright.

[ Nothing Matt cares to talk about just yet. He'd rather just ignore any of this happened at all, but he doubts it'll be so simple. Matt would try and figure out what she was feeling, but one, he doesn't care enough, and two, he can't use his senses like that right now. Maybe not ever again.

He doesn't bother agreeing with Frank about whether or not he's actually grateful, staring what he hopes is straight ahead and not even acknowledging Father Lantom as he's wheeled out the back toward where the other man has the van stashed. ]

I think that's understating it.

[ He at least agrees to what Frank says, taking a moment to breathe the fresh air once they are stopped outside, and tilts his head on his good side a little to hear Frank better. He nods a little. ] Not sure I can do much more walking right now anyways.

Frank? [ He reaches out, fingers brushing at his arm before he manages to rest it there, squeezing gently. ] Thank you.

[Never did Frank think he'd be in this deep again with... anyone. Not after Maria. Not after he thought he'd found the only love he was ever worthy of. The way Matt relies on him and need him, the way he wants Frank to help him, it breaks his heart and glues it back together all at once. Fuck. He's in so goddamn deep.]

Hey... [Gruff voice is tinged with a gentleness saved for those he cares about in private moments. That display in front of Maggie is the one and only time they've ever made this thing of theirs known. Now he crouches in front of Matt and rests his hands on his thighs, looking up at him to speak clearly:]

You don't gotta thank me for doing something decent. You'd do the same for me. I'm just... [His voice catches. Probably best that Matt can't hear it too well.] I'm still in shock that you're right here in front of me.

[ Matt can understand that. He's gotten close, he likes to think, or at least as close as was possible after being burned as many times as he has been. The way he breaks away from anything that could be soft or have that effect on him---Frank Castle was the last person he thought would ever make it past well laid defenses.

His eyebrows raise a little, focusing on Frank when he hunkers down in front of him. ]

Still it---bears saying. I know it's a risk for you. [ Not just from the authorities. That willingness to open up again. He thinks he hears something in his voice, but he can't--- His head tilts, trying to pick up what he's missed, and gives up, nodding. ] I'm still pretty shocked on that front, too.

[Just seeing Matt alive in front of him is doing something to Frank and he has to control his emotions, nodding to himself before he grabs Matt's arm to sling over his shoulder.]

Hold onto me, okay? Tell me if anything hurts.

[Because his other arm is sneaking under Matt's knees as he stands to lift him, the motion itself far too easy for carrying a man with as much muscle as Matt.]

[ Every single jostle is painful or just plain uncomfortable right now. Some of his senses might be useless or dulled, currently, but not touch. Usually, cotton feels like agony. This?

It's off the scales. It must be a part of that good Catholic boy charm that he suffers it quietly. ] Try everything.

[ Well, mostly quietly. Sarcasm doesn't count, right? Sliding the cane into his lap, he grips at Frank's shoulder when one arm is slung over his shoulders, and grits his teeth as the other man picks him up in his arms to cradle him as they walk to the van. His jaw is set tight, breath harsh through his nose as he goes.

It isn't until they are basically there that a noise of pain slips free. ] It's---it's ok. I'm ok.

[Difficult breathing and a stiff expression are all Frank needs to understand. That with the pained sound makes him hurry even more to get Matt safely into the passenger's side of the car, careful not to bump any limbs or head as he finally sets Matt inside.]

Yeah, I don't believe that for a second.

[He sighs and reaches over Matt to buckle him in, making sure he's secure.]

You can lay down if you need to. It's a bit of a drive from here.

[ He leans back in the seat once Frank sets him down, trying to take some of the pressure off of his lower body. His breathing is still shaky from pain, but he can't help the weak laugh that escapes him. ]

Well, aspirin doesn't quite cut it right now.

[ He aims to let the cane drop down controlled, but just ends up with it slipping out of his hand and onto the floorboard anyways. He's useless like this and it's beyond frustrating. His eyes shut, and he nods a little, pain stealing his voice a moment or two. ]

I think I'm good like this for now.

You'll get somethin' better than Tylenol at my place, I promise.

[Something to ease his suffering anyway and maybe knock him out for a few hours. Shit. Frank doesn't know what more to do but he isn't about to abandon Matt for anything.

The folded cane drops without any of Matt's usual finesse. The frustration there is clear. Wordlessly, Frank picks it back up and sets it in the cup holder to Matt's left. Moments later the door's slamming shut and Frank's joining him in the driver's seat, van started up and heading home. Somewhere more like a home than here, anyway.

He's quiet initially, unsure how to start up a conversation when he'd been under the impression that Matt was dead all this time. Frank can't even be mad at him in this state - not really. He has to swallow down his own baggage and be the support Matt needs right now, driving him to safety.]

Better than prayers at any rate.

[ It's said on a pained breath. He can't remember the last time he slept through the night

He doesn't comment on Frank retrieving and putting away the cane. He takes a few minute to regain a small bit of composure, and reaches out for Frank's arm again, feeling for one hand to squeeze. He can sense something else nagging, but it's hard to gauge. ]

What is it?

[Matt reaches out for his hand and Frank can't deny him, not when he's clearly struggling with the simplest things. It's hard seeing Matt like this when he is usually so confident and capable, and the thought of him not going back to how he was is strange. Frank can only imagine how often those destructive thoughts have run through Matt's mind these past months.]

Nothin'. Really. Just still in shock, like I said...

[His voice trails off with a tired sigh.]

...Just wish I'd stopped you from going in that place. I could've stopped this from happening to you.

[ He curls his hand around Frank's when he feels it take his own. He's had plenty of days of destructive thoughts, and times he's considered going out and---well. Despite his personal issue with God currently, it's still considered a mortal sin, isn't it? He won't admit that to Frank. He can barely admit it to himself. ]

I'm not sure anything could have stopped what happened. It needed to happen.

[ At least Matt knows now where he and God stand with each other. ]

You can't blame yourself.

Did it? [Needed to happen? Maybe it's better if Frank doesn't know why but as far as he's concerned, good people like Matt nearly dying does nobody any good. Maybe it's because this got personal. Maybe it's because he's too close. Whatever the case he doesn't like the idea of losing the man beside him and it's terrifying to consider that it almost happened.

Frank's still frowning as he keeps his eyes on the road, their hands the only steady thing keeping him grounded. If Matt's hearing wasn't so fucked up he'd be able to note the way his heart is racing at the mere thought of losing him.]

I just can't let anything happen to you. Not again.

I think it did. [ There's a low, depressed note to his tone. It needed to happen to show him where he stood with God and the faith he's clung to so vehemently. To show him that he suffered for naught, and that going forward, should he find himself well enough to continue, he should answer only to himself. It needed to happen to show that his memory of Elektra clouded the woman she became after her resurrection.

It doesn't make it hurt less, but he had known the first time she tried to kill Stick that if she crossed that particular line there would be no going back. ]

I think having a building collapse on top of me proves that I'm a little hardier than I look. Or God hates me.

To be honest I'm not sure which it is at this point.

[This is a low point in Matt's life - a struggle. It doesn't mean this is it. It doesn't mean he can't move on up from here. Frank vehemently believes that he can improve from the state he's currently in but all they can do is take things one step at a time, and Frank cares enough about Matt to want to help. If it means taking care of him for a little while then so be it.

Whether intentional or not, Frank chuckles at the mention of God, squeezing Matt's hand gently.]

I don't think He hates you. You're just struggling right now. [He tries to soothe with the stroke of his thumb along Matt's hand, repetitive and soft.] If that shit didn't break you then I don't know what will, Red.

[ Matt doesn't plan on giving up, at least, he's pretty sure he doesn't. Having been in the presence of condemnation, however silent from Sister Maggie, and feeling like a helpless child all over again as Father Lantom attempted to guide him to deal with his upset and rage---he's not sure what he's feeling.

Despair had been very close, but having Frank here eased that at least a little. ] Maybe not. Maybe we finally just see each other for who we really are.

[ The softness of Frank's hand in his belies the turmoil under the surface of Matt's skin, eking out of his heart and into the rest of him. He doesn't have the words to say to Frank, and feels guilt wash over him because of it, cloying and choking.

Did it though? Not break him? Matt isn't sure. ] Yeah.

[Frank can't begin to know what's going through Matt's head right now. The closest Frank can come is how he felt after a particularly devastating loss overseas, a failed mission, or one that went... too well. There are images that still haunt him, along with the way he felt even back then, the way he craved more. It's terrifying. The kind of internal crisis Matt's battling is entirely his own.]

Maybe. Or maybe this was the universe's way of reminding you that you're still only human. You're just one man.

[But what does Frank know, really?

Even with the pockets of silence Frank doesn't let go of that hand, almost afraid to, as if Matt will slip away again. After a few prolonged moments he sighs out:] It's okay if you wanna rest. We've got a long drive still.

[ Nothing good, is the long and short of it. He knows Frank can relate in his own way, but it doesn't help him, not right now.

Matt offers a weak chuckle at the comment from the other man. ]

Could be. Who knows?

[ Matt, despite not wanting to let go of Frank's hand, is feeling exhausted. Again. Not that it takes much these days. He offers a squeeze to the other man's hand, and shifts to take the pressure off his injured hip and back a little, half-curled on his side as much as he can in the passenger's seat. He tucks his arms around his middle. ]

Is it out of the city?

[Getting him away from his past seems like a better idea right now. Matt's low energy and in pain. The good painkillers are waiting at Frank's place, sadly.]

Yeah. Somewhere quiet, away from the noise. [Hands are still loosely laced together no matter how Matt shifts, not letting him lose that contact as long as he needs it.] When's the last time you even left Hell's Kitchen?

[ It's hard to drag himself out of the past when he barely has the energy to consider much further ahead than the next breath. The next jostle of the car over the bumps in the road. ]

Can't hear much anyways. [ He tries to adjust his head so he can still hear Frank well enough through his left ear, but it's difficult. He's grateful for the contact. It's maybe the only thing grounding him when he feels set adrift in the worst way. ] Never.

I've never left it.

( closed to thegoodbad. )

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